Saddled with Love
Salt Lake City, UT, 24 February 2014 – I know many of our readers wonder how we manage to survive as a same-sex couple in Utah. And many others wish they had it so good, you know, sharing domestic tranquility and all of the ups and downs that come with holy matrimony. Here in Utah, because we were married within the seventeen days that mattered, when same-sex marriage was legal while the Attorney General’s office was too mired in controversy over his corruption to remember to file a motion for a stay to Judge Shelby’s ruling against Utah’s marriage laws, we run and hurried to pick up a marriage certificate of our own. In so doing, Sister Holland (my betrothed, Greg; yes, I owe you an explanation) and I filed joint taxes for the first time. Nothing compares to the pain one experiences when the free online tax software tells you you’re paying the marriage penalty and that your once lofty refund has dwindled to mere pennies. But we may have found something that comes incredibly close, as you’ll soon see. In years past we lived like Egyptian Pharaohs after Uncle Sam deposited our check throwing parties even The Great Gatsby would envy. This year I wasn’t even gifted a new pair of Assos kukupenthouse Equipe bib shorts after the drop dripped into the proverbial bucket of our tax refund. No, instead we paid off a credit card. How’s that for marital bliss? Are you jealous? Want marriage so bad you can taste it? Trust me, gurl, ain’t nothin’ to want that bad. The saying goes, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. We got it.
Let’s just say you live in one of those bleeding heart liberal states where you have all the freedoms the constitution says you should have and still you don’t have anyone to drag to the alter. I’m not trying to make light of the issue; the reality is you just haven’t found anyone who can tolerate your crazy like I’ve found. Don’t despair. You will find true love. I waited 40 years and made some mistakes along the way to my current cohabitation situation. But while you’re waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to show up at your door a temporary solution to your more innate needs seems to have surfaced on the market.
The Essax Shark Saddle may just be the thing to help you forget your status doldrums. I’m not going to go into the details or post an image of this new product here because after you click on the link, you’ll understand completely. Suffice it to say, I don’t intend to test this innovative saddle myself, but the idea may have some merit. After all, keeping oneself centered in life is often difficult in the good times, never mind trying to do it on a century ride. The Essax Shark Saddle could be just the thing to keep you busy while you’re cycling down the road to true love. Enjoy.