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The Summer I Learned to Ride a Bike

DeSalvo Custom Road Bike

DeSalvo Custom Road Bike Ready for LotoJa

Salt Lake City, UT, 5 September 2014 – The summer of 2014 will go down in my personal history book as the summer I learned how to ride a bike. Not that I didn’t already know how to get started, balance, and pedal without falling over at every corner, but rather I learned new skills that improved my performance. Until this summer I’d been riding the DeSalvo for almost 9 months and had plateaued. My Strava segment times were stuck in neutral and riding was becoming a chore.

You might remember I had a love-hate relationship with Strava but have since learned to embrace the data collection and comparison features of the app. I no longer, mostly, get annoyed when I compare my segment times to other riders although there will always be that one virtual competitor whose segment improvements irk the crud out of me. But no matter how much I compared or how much I thought I was trying my riding was going nowhere.

Being on the DeSalvo means I don’t have to have a relationship with anyone but the bike. The bike doesn’t complain or tell you what you’re doing wrong. The bike usually takes what you give it and makes you a better person if you take care of it. As I’m sitting here writing I realized this is no different than any other relationship. But I’ve always been a little one-off when it comes to personal relationships. I usually have a difficult time starting a conversation and even harder time staying interested long enough to hear the end of a story. And because of this I’ve had a difficult time making and keeping friends. Greg has pushed me to find people to ride with in order to improve my cycling skills. But for a loner like me the thought of asking someone to ride with me was scarier than open-heart surgery. Though I’ve had chance meetings with many people while riding I’ve never felt a strong desire to ask them for their contact information so we could ride together. The nearest I’ve ever come to teaming up with a group of riders was after an invitation to ride up Emigration canyon with a group of people who meet every Tuesday and Thursday morning. Emigration Canyon Road is the place every SL,UT rider cuts their proverbial teeth on hill climbs. Most Saturdays the canyon is bustling with every style and experience level of cyclists, which is why I tended to avoid riding there. The day I almost got the nerve to go out and ride with the Tuesday/Thursday group I decided to leave very early in the morning, before 6 am, so I could do the canyon without any competition. I didn’t want anyone knowing I owned a pricey bike but was only a mediocre rider. Thus my life as a vampire in Emigration Canyon began most days before 5 am.


Because the canyon is such a popular bicycling destination an unofficial sub-30 minute Strava milestone exists for the segment. For many cyclists, getting to the top of little mountain summit within 30-minutes is akin to reaching the North Pole. And as long as I’ve used Strava to gauge my riding proficiency that goal has been in the back of my head — only in the back of my head because no matter how hard I thought I was trying I couldn’t do the ascent in less than 32:30.

Since I didn’t have the nerve to find a riding companion I’ve used Strava to find them virtually. I’ve tried not to only follow people I know as friends but I’ve also included people who I knew were better riders than me so I had lofty goals to pursue. I wasn’t so jaded that I thought I’d ever be as good as they were, but these virtual competitors were there egging me on to try just a little harder. Which is how we get to June of this year.


Early this year, I started following a rider, A.K., on Strava who is a significantly (perhaps not so “significantly” anymore, but we’ll get to that) better climber than I am. And like any good follower I gave him Strava “Kudos” for every ride he did. He must have noticed and then done some searching on Facebook for my profile where he “liked” all of my posts about same-sex marriage and my relationship with Greg. So when he invited me to connect on Facebook I couldn’t help but wonder whom this guy was. We live in Utah, after all, so the chances of meeting someone who approves of our alternative lifestyle and who rides a bike are slim, though perhaps not improbable. I did what any curious person would do and accepted his Facebook friendship. Then, after complementing A.K. on his riding skills, I asked some general questions about his belief system. No red flags popped up and he was easy to communicate with, as much as texting is considered actual communication these days. Then, because I was a bit emboldened by the fact A.K. wasn’t uptight about my living arrangements, I asked if he would be interested in riding one day. He may have been a bit apprehensive and certainly was not interested in riding before the sun was fully up in the sky, but he accepted my request.
The day we met to ride A.K. asked me how we knew each other. I quickly ran down the Strava and Facebook connections to get to where we were standing on the side of the road at the mouth of Emigration Canyon. After I finished connecting the dots, he said, “Huh,” and then started talking as if we’d known one another for years. We clipped into our pedals and started up the canyon. A.K. told me about his racing and his philosophy about riding and he started working on making me a better rider. For the most part this happened without my even realizing I was improving. On our first few rides I tried to absorb everything I heard and remember everything I saw him do.


The first thing A.K. told me was to lose the 11-25 cassette. Being situated in the intermountain west, the geographic area between the Rocky Mountains to the east and the Sierra Nevada range to the west, SL,UT, I learned, is not the place for manly feats of gear mashing on an 11-25 tooth cassette. The funny thing is years ago, the first thing I did to upgrade my bike was to remove the 11-28 cassette and put on a more manly 11-25. Then I spent four years mashing gears to climb every hill I could find. Suddenly, I felt like a fool but quickly understood A.K.’s reasoning, which goes along with the second part of learning how to ride.


By our second ride I was no longer climbing Emigration Canyon in the large chain ring. I learned to increase my cadence by pedaling in the small chain ring and a larger gear. A few weeks into riding and my cadence was nearing 90-100 rpm as we climbed the canyon. I realized when we reached the top of the canyon that I was not completely exhausted from mashing gears. On the way down the canyon I noticed almost every rider heading up was doing exactly what I thought was the right way to climb.
Having learned the basics of gearing and cadence my tutor changed tack. As we rode he picked a speed slightly faster than I was used to riding and would continue talking as if I was riding next to him. I quickly learned if I wanted to be part of the conversation I would have to speed up. He never pushed hard enough to completely wear me out but I could sense when our speed increased. When we ride together I keep my Garmin set to any screen other than the speed because I find I obsess over my speed rather than focusing on my riding.

I also learned to save some energy for the end. Before I realized what A.K. had said made perfect sense, many of my high energy rides started out with a bang and ended with a bonk. I usually had nothing left for the end of the hill climb or the end of a long ride. Soon, I was wistfully pedaling up hills, my legs spinning gleefully and painlessly to the top. I found I had extra energy to do one last hill or even one fast race downhill. I also learned to get up out of the saddle for the last push to the finish and to get in the drops on every downhill. And I learned to eat. I now have at least one energy bar on every ride and usually at least two bottles of water. I have more energy and more fun on my rides.

More importantly, I learned a little about nurturing relationships outside of my personal relationship with Greg and the importance of balance. My outlook was so positive on a recent ride I told A.K. one of my goals by the end of the year was to finish a sub-30:00 Emigration Canyon climb.

Last week I hopped on my bike and pedaled up to Emigration Canyon alone after work. I was feeling pretty good about my riding and thought it might be fun to see just how much I’d learned and how much I’d improved. As I entered the canyon I put my head down, hands in the drops and took off. As I sensed the grade shift I shifted up and down with the flow of the land. Suddenly I realized I was further into the canyon than I expected to be. I told myself not to give up and to maintain my pace as I reached the last hairpin turn. I’d tried to reserve a little for the last climb, then got up out of the saddle and gave one last push to the finish. As I started to go down the backside of little mountain summit I noticed the time on my Garmin said 56:04 and realized I may have come close to my sub-30:00 goal. Then, for a split second I thought how pissed I would be if I was one or two seconds short. But in the end, after seven weeks of summer school training and bike riding with A.K., I had achieved a goal I’d never really believed I was capable of achieving. Just to make sure this wasn’t a fluke, I did the same ride again finishing within 3 seconds of my personal best time.  Because of A.K.’s tutelage and his patience, I had become a much better rider.


In the end, the most important lesson I learned from this guy whose life was forever altered by spending several excruciating seconds as the hood ornament of a car that drove into his path is no matter what life throws at you never give up.


Utah gay marriage ban overturned; state plans appeal

Utah gay marriage ban overturned; state plans appeal.

Salt Lake City, UT, 26 June 2014 – Six months after Judge Robert Shelby’s ruling, and the decision by salt Lake County District Attorney Sim Gill to allow Utah County Clerks to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, a three-judge panel of the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals upheld Shelby’s ruling nullifying the state’s ban on such unions. Sadly, the state of Utah has decided to take their appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court for a final decision.  One must ask whether Utah Governor Gary Herbert believes he can win this appeal or is simply pushing forward as a means of becoming the man who fought for (and hopefully lost) the right of states to define what “marriage” means and continuing to deny its citizens equality.  Certainly, Herbert stands to improve his political stature with the GOP by standing up for what even conservative Senator Orin Hatch has said is a losing battle.

David is Specialized – Fixie Pride


8 June 2014, Salt Lake City, UT – This is our good friend David and his Specialized single speed (fixie) enjoying the Utah Pride 2014 parade.  We love the smooth shave on those legs and the rainbow bright shoes, David.




Fixie Porn at Utah Pride

Salt Lake City, UT, 8 June 2014 – Everybody loves a little porn at pride.


Happenstance on a Bike Share Bike


Salt Lake City, UT, 7 June 2014 – While walking back to my car after having left the Utah Pride Festival tonight I passed a gaggle of girls who were out for a little post-festival fun by renting GREENBikes from the Salt Lake City Bike Share program.  Granted it was 10 p.m. so I assumed they were a bit tipsy after perhaps enjoying the libations being served at the festival.

Who would ever think you could purchase alcohol at a festival in Utah of all places?  Believe it or not this desert city is not dry after all.  Utah knows how to paaarty.

As the girls started to ride past me I quickly whipped out my phone and took a few shots wishing I could take a better group shot to post here.


Luck was on my side when they stopped near the next corner to take an obligatory selfie.  So as I walked up I asked if they wanted me to take the picture for them.   They were thrilled and so was I.


In fifteen short minutes I learned they were all in high school and would be seniors in the fall.  I learned a little about each one and how we share some very personal connections.   As Disney says, “It’s a small world  after all.”  And during our short conversation on this night when Utah celebrates its alternative side I was reminded how much we are connected as a community and how close we are as a collective family.


Ride safe Girls.

NAHBS Load-in

ALLONEWORD Fine Cycling Caps ©2014

ALLONEWORD Fine Cycling Caps

Charlotte, NC, 13 March 2014 NAHBS Charlotte load in has begun. Exhibitors are arriving, checking in and setting up their booth displays. This should be one awesome gathering of bike builders, component manufacturers and apparel companies including our new friends at AllOneWord Fine Cycling Caps.

NAHBS Charlotte Load-in ©2014

NAHBS Charlotte Load-in


One Year Old – OneOffTwoWheels

The Satisfaction of a Job Well-done ©2014

The satisfaction of a job well-done

8 March 2014, Salt Lake City, UT – Every project should start with a plan if you expect something of value when the endpoint arrives.  Unlike cooking dessert a website does not have an endpoint unless the author stops writing.  Each article is merely one more meal for readers to devour while patiently awaiting the next course.

We made these blitzes from scratch for Greg’s birthday last year first making the crepes, then the filling, and finally frying the packets of blueberry and cheese-filled pillows in rich butter. The process is not unlike writing. You take raw words like flour, milk, and eggs to make a batter that has to be caressed in a properly prepared vessel where the ingredients, like sentences, morph into a cohesive palatable product; this step usually takes a good quantity of butter both when writing and cooking to reach a satisfactory end-point.

Step One - Crepes ©2014

Step One – Crepes

I find making blitzes to be a painful endeavor because there are so many steps to the process.  And getting started is always difficult because I tend to look at the many steps involved as roadblocks to the endpoint.   But once I’ve taken a moment to realize that the three most important people in my life–my partner and our two kids–will adore me for about an hour after we’re done, the process seems less daunting.

Frying Pillows of Love ©2014

Frying Pillows of Love

Similarly, writing OneOffTwoWheels has gotten easier as this year has progressed because I’ve learned to face each post with a passion for delivering a satisfying read.  As many other bloggers can attest there’s usually so many topics one wants to cover its difficult to focus and finish one post that will have meaning.   I have written many posts that because of the timeliness of the topic, like lumpy crepe batter, never were completed because they did not meet my expectation of perfection in pressing words together.  In order to add a more interesting perspective, my goal for the next year is to get Greg to write some pieces for OneOffTwoWheels.  His viewpoint about life would be a positive addition to the site.

We started OneOffTwoWheels because we wanted to make a connection between being same-sex oriented and bicycling sport-loving humans; a connection I rarely see in mainstream bicycle websites unless the focus is on the innuendo built into wearing lycra shorts that expose one’s anatomy for all to see.   It would be easy to pepper this blog with photos and comments about how men in spandex fill out their Assos S7 Kuku Penthouse bike shorts, but we wanted to have a bit more class in our approach to bicycling.   Basically, I’d rather be cooking at the French Laundry than some fast food joint.   And hopefully our writing expresses some level of New York Times-style Op Ed.  And after years of not using my degree in broadcast communications I can finally tell my kids college does have value.

The Final Draft ©2014

The Final Draft

Hopefully, you’ve enjoyed our work thus far.   Next week we’ll be in Charlotte at NAHBS, the North American Handmade Bicycle Show, as assistants to the show directors so we’ll try to give you a behind the scene look at how this show comes together.   The people who run NAHBS are dedicated to giving people a glimpse of some of the best custom bicycles your hard earned money can buy.  The work that goes into the final product is really incredible.

As a happy birthday gift to all and a thank you for reading, here’s a photo of the mismatched helmets worn by the Polish National Bicycle Team.

Polish Bicycling Team - Their helmets don't match. Image From the Internet

Polish Bicycling Team – Their helmets don’t match.
Image From the Internet

Saddled with Love

Saddled with Love

Salt Lake City, UT, 24 February 2014 – I know many of our readers wonder how we manage to survive as a same-sex couple in Utah.  And many others wish they had it so good, you know, sharing domestic tranquility and all of the ups and downs that come with holy matrimony.  Here in Utah, because we were married within the seventeen days that mattered, when same-sex marriage was legal while the Attorney General’s office was too mired in controversy over his corruption to remember to file a motion for a stay to Judge Shelby’s ruling against Utah’s marriage laws, we run and hurried to pick up a marriage certificate of our own.  In so doing, Sister Holland (my betrothed, Greg; yes, I owe you an explanation) and I filed joint taxes for the first time.   Nothing compares to the pain one experiences when the free online tax software tells you you’re paying the marriage penalty and that your once lofty refund has dwindled to mere pennies. But we may have found something that comes incredibly close, as you’ll soon see.   In years past we lived like Egyptian Pharaohs after Uncle Sam deposited our check throwing parties even The Great Gatsby would envy.  This year I wasn’t even gifted a new pair of Assos kukupenthouse Equipe bib shorts after the drop dripped into the proverbial bucket of our tax refund.   No, instead we paid off a credit card.  How’s that for marital bliss?  Are you jealous?  Want marriage so bad you can taste it?   Trust me, gurl, ain’t nothin’ to want that bad.   The saying goes, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.  We got it.

Let’s just say you live in one of those bleeding heart liberal states where you have all the freedoms the constitution says you should have and still you don’t have anyone to drag to the alter.   I’m not trying to make light of the issue; the reality is you just haven’t found anyone who can tolerate your crazy like I’ve found.   Don’t despair.   You will find true love.   I waited 40 years and made some mistakes along the way to my current cohabitation situation.  But while you’re waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to show up at your door a temporary solution to your more innate needs seems to have surfaced on the market.

The Essax Shark Saddle may just be the thing to help you forget your status doldrums.  I’m not going to go into the details or post an image of this new product here because after you click on the link, you’ll understand completely.  Suffice it to say, I don’t intend to test this innovative saddle myself, but the idea may have some merit.  After all, keeping oneself centered in life is often difficult in the good times, never mind trying to do it on a century ride.   The Essax Shark Saddle could be just the thing to keep you busy while you’re cycling down the road to true love.  Enjoy.

Heber Valley, Utah

Looking west toward a mist covered Mt. Timpanogos.  ©2014

Looking west toward a mist covered Mt. Timpanogos.

Heber Valley, UT, 22 February 2014 – One of my favorite lazy day things to do is to just get in the car and go for a drive somewhere close but new and interesting.   The trouble is this is one of Greg’s least favorite things to do.  Somehow I managed to get him to agree to packing the bikes in the back of the Rav4 and driving up to Morgan, a very small town East of Ogden.   The sky was overcast and we noticed as we drove through what little town there was that the roads were less than optimal for cycling so we agreed to forgo the bike ride today.

Looking north west toward Midway in the Heber Valley ©2014

Looking north west toward Midway in the Heber Valley

As we were driving home, Greg suggested we head to Heber and try to bike there. We knew the roads are wider and more accommodating to cycling.  The town of Heber sits midway between Salt Lake City and Provo on the east side of the Wasatch mountain range.   After we parked in a neighborhood next to some horse property and suited up in our bike kits the sky cleared to a majestic blue.  It stayed that way the entire afternoon with temperatures reaching 46 degrees.  We rode for ninety minutes heading toward Midway, home of the Homestead Resort and part way up some of the canyon roads.  This was Greg’s first ride since fall so he was a bit slow on the climbs, but he was still a trooper.   With few vehicles on these back roads the ride was pleasant and a good workout.   This is the link to our Heber Bicycle Ride on Strava since WordPress and Strava don’t like one another.    With the snow melting and little greenery on the mountains they look a bit bleak up close so we didn’t take many pictures during the ride.   But we did manage to stop and take some images of Mount Timpanogos blanketed in snow and late afternoon mist at the end of the trip.   Overall we had a nice little ride away from our usual SLC circuits.

America the Beautiful

Anywhere, USA, 7 February 2014 – People in America have been fighting for their right to bear arms, to self-govern, and to be treated as equals since the birth of this country.  And we are currently in the midst of a battle to be treated equally for tax purposes; frankly I’m not sure why since our newlywed status increased our taxable income and razed our once-sizeable refund check.  But we continue to desire to be treated fairly in a country where anyone who comes from anywhere can become an American.  Perhaps we should battle more for education than for equality.  After reading these examples of tweets from our neighbors you’ll come to understand  some people do not know much about what being “American” really means.


I’m not sure any of these twitter posts are fine examples of what we as Americans can achieve but they illustrate a point: If you have nothing good to tweet, don’t tweet anything.


But before you go ballistic over the sheer ignorance portrayed by these upstanding Americans take a moment, breathe, maybe go for a bike ride, and then realize how utterly simple-minded these people are.


Then, as you are laughing your head off thank some almighty being for having teachers who taught you that we speak English as a primary language in America.  Be thankful you know your “you’re” from your “your”.  And be grateful you happily know which “hole” your thoughts should emanate from.


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